I Don’t Fear (I’m Not Alone)

Of all the feelings one encounters in life; fear is perhaps the most transient, which makes it all the more illogical.

As a child I feared many things…

The dark
Imaginary monsters in the closet
My parents

As I reached my teens my fears altered.

By this time my main fear was not getting good grades and wondering what to do with my life but rather being spurned by my peer group. My consciousness was enveloped by making sure I had the right sneakers, liked the right bands, and had the correct brand of jeans.

And obviously I still feared my parents.

By my twenties they shifted once again.

Now I was concerned with finding the right apartment, job and lover and making sure my friends could be relied upon.

And I still feared my parents.

As I hit 30 I found myself without parents and separated from my siblings by geography.

It was shortly after this time that I reached an epiphany. I realised that there was no point in worrying anymore and that a life lived in fear was a life not lived at all.

So I sit here today having:

Tendered my resignation,
Signed the new contract,
Packed the trunks,
Booked the plane tickets,
Obtained the necessary visa.

I know I should be scared, after all this city is the only place I have lived as an adult. I am destined for a country that I haven’t even visited never mind lived in. But none of this matters as instead of fear I feel only elation. I feel fresh, sparkling and ready for the new challenges that undoubtedly lie ahead.