In light of Mel's recent arrest on suspicion of DUI I thought that this may be appropriate. Ladies & Gentlemen I give you the warning labels brewers would use if they were being honest...
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name and/or species you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
And finally just for Shandi
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning.
1 comment:
LOL those were great! I especially like that last one.
Will the dick jokes be on tomorrow?
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