Well the Easter weekend is now just a memory and my life is slowly returning to normal. I spent the weekend playing host to a number of friends from out of town. It's always nice to catch up but sharing house space with four other adults and seven children under five was tiring/trying to say the least. In saying that it was still a rewarding experience. As 80's indie stalwarts The Wedding Present correctly noted "You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends" From the album Tommy. Available on the Cooking Vinyl label at www.amazon.co.uk and all good retailers.
On returning to work this morning I caught up with some other "old faces" two of my colleagues had returned from vacation (one from Spain the other from India). This leads on to tonights topic - Unnecessary Labelling.
The colleague who had enjoyed a trip to Goa had brought back some souvenirs for the team. I received a carved wooden elephant key ring, all very nice until I inspected the item closely and noticed that it sported the legend Goa, India (as opposed to Goa, Wisconsin obviously) in large lettering along the side. Strangely this put me "in one of my moods". It's not that I felt ungrateful towards this gift it was simply that I do/did not understand the need for the word India to be included after Goa.
Let's consider this for a moment. To my knowledge, and I accept that I am no expert in these matters, I am unaware of there being another Goa in the world (feel free to correct me on this point, I am always happy to be educated). If as I believe the only Goa exists as a former Portugese colony on the west coast of the sub-continent then surely the inclusion of the word India is thoroughly redundant.
If I am correct in my assesment of the situation then I blame Hollywood. Think of the number of movies you have seen where we (the audience) are treated to a nice panning shot of The Eiffel Tower, instantly you know where the scene is set. But then a strange thing happens, the screen is invaded by a large caption declaring that we are in PARIS, FRANCE. No shit Sherlock!, like we all thought this might be Paris, Texas. Or we get a glimpse of a couple of pearly kings & queens followed by a shot of a red double decker bus driving past the Houses Of Parliament and a HUGE CAPTION declaring that this is LONDON, ENGLAND. Jesus Christ how dumb do these arseholes think we are?
Whilst raging against this stupidity I started to think of a report that I had recently read regarding the USA. Whilst there are no official statistics it appears that less than 22% of the population of US own a passport.
(source: http://www.gyford.com)
If so few of the American population own a passport then it stands to reason that the places Europeans are au-fait with, like the examples listed in this article, will not be so familiar to those residing across the pond, hence the unnecessary labelling of the obvious.
I would like to point out that this article is in no way anti-American. I accept that if you live in the Land Of The Free you reside in one of the largest and most diverse countries in the world. The need to travel is obviously lessened as a result but as wise old sage Morrissey mused "America Is Not The World" from the Attack album "You Are The Quarry". This is also available at www.amazon.co.uk
Goodnight.
On returning to work this morning I caught up with some other "old faces" two of my colleagues had returned from vacation (one from Spain the other from India). This leads on to tonights topic - Unnecessary Labelling.
The colleague who had enjoyed a trip to Goa had brought back some souvenirs for the team. I received a carved wooden elephant key ring, all very nice until I inspected the item closely and noticed that it sported the legend Goa, India (as opposed to Goa, Wisconsin obviously) in large lettering along the side. Strangely this put me "in one of my moods". It's not that I felt ungrateful towards this gift it was simply that I do/did not understand the need for the word India to be included after Goa.
Let's consider this for a moment. To my knowledge, and I accept that I am no expert in these matters, I am unaware of there being another Goa in the world (feel free to correct me on this point, I am always happy to be educated). If as I believe the only Goa exists as a former Portugese colony on the west coast of the sub-continent then surely the inclusion of the word India is thoroughly redundant.
If I am correct in my assesment of the situation then I blame Hollywood. Think of the number of movies you have seen where we (the audience) are treated to a nice panning shot of The Eiffel Tower, instantly you know where the scene is set. But then a strange thing happens, the screen is invaded by a large caption declaring that we are in PARIS, FRANCE. No shit Sherlock!, like we all thought this might be Paris, Texas. Or we get a glimpse of a couple of pearly kings & queens followed by a shot of a red double decker bus driving past the Houses Of Parliament and a HUGE CAPTION declaring that this is LONDON, ENGLAND. Jesus Christ how dumb do these arseholes think we are?
Whilst raging against this stupidity I started to think of a report that I had recently read regarding the USA. Whilst there are no official statistics it appears that less than 22% of the population of US own a passport.
(source: http://www.gyford.com)
If so few of the American population own a passport then it stands to reason that the places Europeans are au-fait with, like the examples listed in this article, will not be so familiar to those residing across the pond, hence the unnecessary labelling of the obvious.
I would like to point out that this article is in no way anti-American. I accept that if you live in the Land Of The Free you reside in one of the largest and most diverse countries in the world. The need to travel is obviously lessened as a result but as wise old sage Morrissey mused "America Is Not The World" from the Attack album "You Are The Quarry". This is also available at www.amazon.co.uk
Goodnight.
3 comments:
If you are going to start a stupid label contest - how about some of these as possibilities?.... PS - Yes, they are all from the USA
A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding
A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed
A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."
A nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."
A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."
The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."
A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person's temperature several different ways warns: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”
A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”
A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”
The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”
A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”
An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”
A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”
A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”
Just for you Mamma
My translation is inserted......
SPECIAL SALT FOR PEOPLE WEV DIARRHOEA DISEASE DEY WORRY
HOW TO PREPARE
Chief Translation: Exclusive compund for people concerned about stomach upsets and loose bowel movements
Pour all di salt in di packet in one chopping plate wey clean well well.
Chief Translation: Empty entire sachet contents into a clean and sterilised waterproof container
You go come mix am with two mineral bottles wey full with water wey clean well.
Chief Translation: Add 70 centi-litres of clean, purified drinking water and mix well.
Drink di mixture after di so so water shit.
Chief Translation: Consume immediately after symptoms become apparent.
You must continue to dey use the mixture until di shit stop.
Chief Translation: Repeat dosage if symptoms persist or until death, dehydration, bad driving or just complete stupidity put an end to your suffering
Oooo. Look what ive found!!!!!!!!!!
Now, should I tell everyone or leave ya in peace.
Nice Blog, C.O.O.
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