Bad Case Of Loving You

I simply could not ignore this story and let it pass by without comment as it raises a number of moral questions.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7228325.stm

To save you the trouble of reading the story here are the (ahem) highlights...

A young model (18) is stabbed to death outside her home following a night out. After an extensive police investigation a man is charged and put on trail for the crime. He enters a plea of Not Guilty and the case begins.

Faced with significant DNA evidence from the prosecution the defendant explains this away by confessing to having sex with the young woman after finding her corpse simply saying that he had "taken advantage of the situation"

Now it might be me but can anyone else spot something wholly wrong with this picture? By my calculations the defendant obviously believes that murder is wrong whilst necrophilia is socially acceptable.

The world truly has gone to shite.

Blue Monday

Proof once again, if any were needed, that there is no justice in the world.

As I read of the sad death of music mogul and professional Manc Anthony H (Tony) Wilson I started to consider other music figures we had lost and those that survive them.

Consider this…

Elvis is dead yet Cliff Richard continues to make records.
Joe Strummer passed away while Elton John lives.
John Lennon is gunned down on his doorstep whilst Paul McCartney wins GQ Man Of The Year 2006.
John Peel died whilst Steve Wright has an afternoon show on Radio 2.
And now the world loses the founder of the seminal Factory Records yet Simon Cowell continues his relentless bid for world domination.

So farewell then Tony you not only “lived the dream” but you convinced others to follow your lead. With Factory and The Hacienda you changed the face of music in The UK.

The world bids farewell to another maverick…we have so few left now.

I think it would be fitting leave with a line from one of the many excellent Factory releases that provided the soundtrack of my youth. So as Electronic sang on Disappointed

At the back of my mind,
I believe what you said,
Dream…

Sex Crime (1984)

As another high profile celebrity, Chris Langham, is convicted of offences against children my mind drifted back to a previous case involving Pete Townsend of The Who.

I recall that in his defence Mr Townsend claimed that his credit card details turned up on a child pornography website due to research he was doing to assist the writing of his autobiography. Now this took place in 2002 and to my knowledge we are still awaiting publication of said book. Either Mr. Townsend is a slow writer or publishers have shown no interest in the manuscript. It couldn’t be anything else now could it?

Whilst I’m discussing celebrity crimes of a sexual nature my favourite is the case of Paul Reubens aka Pee Wee Herman who was caught having a wank whilst “enjoying” a movie in an adult cinema. WTF else would he be doing there? It’s not like you watch a porn movie to marvel at the acting, the dialogue or even the soundtrack.

Generation Terrorists

Two men steal a Jeep Cherokee, fill it with explosive matter and drive it into the front of the main terminal building at Glasgow Airport in a totally inept attempt at suicide bombing.

All they managed to do was start a little fire and burn themselves...what a pair of wankers.

Any eight year old kid in Glasgow can steal cars and raise fires.

Look fuckers...have you not heard about the internet? Trust me you can "Google" just about anything you want including bomb making techniques.

Forget al-Qaeda...this pair were about as scary as Al Gore.

Shit I smoke...I've more chance of killing myself than being taken out by dumb fucks like them.

The Ugly Truth

You know I do expect to get hate mail about this one but I've previously posted about Israeli foreign policy so....

Anyhoo...I feel that this has to be said and I've bitten my tongue for too long.

When is wilful neglect not considered to be neglect?

This is the question that has been on my mind for more than a week now.

The answer appears to be when the parents involved are middle class “educated” people.

Now to me this stinks of double standards…

Let’s look at the evidence…

A couple on holiday lock their sleeping pre-school children in their home and leave to enjoy a meal in a nearby restaurant.

The eldest of the children is subsequently abducted.

Some would say that is a tragedy….I say it’s a fucking outrage.

That child relied upon those parents to care for it and keep it safe yet the press seems to have overlooked this. Instead they prefer to concentrate on the social status enjoyed by the parents and present a sympathetic front.

Now let’s for a moment pretend that rather than being professional people the parents were in receipt of welfare payments and were visiting a run down resort on a bargain break to enjoy some sun, sea and cheap booze….can you just imagine the outcry that would have caused?

Newspaper editorials would have been baying for blood and demanding that the couples other children immediately be taken in to care, that the mother be sterilised, their welfare payments stopped etc….The couple would have been crucified.

Instead of this justified outrage what do we get???

An endless stream of the great and the good lining up to send some words of sympathy to the parents in front of any TV crew that will stick a camera & a boom mike in their face. And later throwing a wedge of cash into the reward fund which now tops £2.5m.

I would like to make it clear that I truly hope the little girl is found safe and well as in all of this she is the one character who does deserve our sympathy.

As an innocent child it must be truly horrific to be let down so badly by the two people you love and trust most.

Indoor Fireworks - Revisited

Following up on the previous post...

http://irritationsoflife.blogspot.com/2006/11/indoor-fireworks.html

Further details have been released with the "hero" of the story now kicking the arse (so to speak) out of his fifteen minutes of "fame".

http://www.sundaymail.co.uk/news/tm_headline=i-feel-as-if-i-ve-just-eaten-the-hottest-curry-in-the-world&method=full&objectid=18082420&siteid=64736-name_page.html

Step forward Mr Dan Tilley,22, of Sunderland, a former soldier who managed to complete his military duties without getting his arse blown off only to return to Civvie Street and do it to himself.

Mr Tilley has now undergone three emergency operations to repair the two new holes he blew in his arse. He will now be using a colostomy bag for at least ten weeks.

I'm informed that a video of the stunt is now available on youtube.

Mr Tilley TWAT Davenelli salute you.

Indoor Fireworks

I just had to share this with you.

If Forrest Gump is to be believed then "stupid is as stupid does".

A 22 year old man was admitted to hospital in Sunderland suffering from internal burns after his attempt to launch a rocket from his arse (ahem!) backfired.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

A spokesman for the paramedics who attended the scene is quoted as saying...

"Potentially it could have been a fatal incident."

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

"The body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

My only disappointment with the story is that the gentleman wasn't named and shamed in the article.

Scar Tissue

A man cuts himself shaving...fuck he thinks, I hope I don't get blood on my clean shirt. Note to self...best remember to remove the toilet paper from my chin before leaving the house.

Being a man who has cut himself on a few occassions I can confirm that this is the normal thought process.

However I am not David Young of Crosshill in Fife, no siree!

You see Mr Young cut himself shaving but his thought process was probably a little more like this...Damn I've cut myself shaving. I do hope I don't get blood on my clean shirt. Hey (and you can almost see the lightbulb above his head) I wonder if I can find a shyster lawyer who will sue the manufacturer of this razor.

And you know the saddest part of this story...he actually did it! He launched legal action against Wilkinson Sword.

More bizarre still...Wilkinson Sword offered an out of court settlement of £6,500 ($11,000) and more baffling yet Mr Young knocked it back stating

"We think it is simply not enough. We think that considering the injury and the distress it has caused us we should be getting a lot more."

"We have spent £900 having the razor analysed (£900 for fucks sake. Consider the other things that could have been done with this £900) and our lawyer will take £3000 (This may be the only case I've come across where I'd actually like to see the lawyer increase his fees) of the £6500 as his fee."

And right there we can see the motivation for this farce. It's not about righting wrongs or sticking up for the little guy. Oh no this one appears to stem from one of the basest human instincts...greed!

The TWAT Davenelli opinion on this

If you are too fucking stupid to operate something as primative as a razor then why the fuck should the rest of the world financially reward you for your ineptitude?

I sincerely hope that this case now goes to court and Wilkinson Sword triumph with Mr Young ordered to apologise for raising such a worthless lawsuit. I'd also like the court to award costs to WS just for spite.

I will now be swapping my Gillette shaving gear for those of their rival as a show of solidarity. Further details on The Wilkinson Sword range can be found here...

http://www.wilkinson-swords.co.uk/

As a footnote

I once cut my finger slicing bread...should I sue Sabatier?

Anyhoo...the whole "hilarious" article can be read at the link below...

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headline=shaving-scar-&method=full&objectid=17895124&siteid=66633-name_page.html

Lost In The Supermarket?

Doing even better in the misplacing stakes than the Post Office is (fanfare please...)

The Chinese Government.

Yip folks it appears that between 1980 and 2000 they managed to lose between 40&60 million women.

http://www.thestandard.com.hk/stdn/std/Weekend/GB05Jp01.html

Co-incidently enough this is approximately the same number of women that Ben Affleck was romantically linked with during the same period (probably).

Where do you stash 40-60 million women?

Even Fred West would have struggled with that one.

Thank Fuck!

Finally Tony Blair has reached a decision which the majority of the electorate will agree with. Yip folks he has announced that he will quit within the year, only one more year of the increasingly embarrasing Blair (yipee!).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5322094.stm

This announcement started me thinking about how he might be remembered. I then found a nice paragraph in the book I'm currently reading (As Used On The Famous Nelson Mandela by Mark Thomas) which summed things up better than I could. According to the book Thomas lists some of the failures of Blair's government as such

"Blair would invade Iraq with the USA, ignoring the calls and pleadings of its citizens. By 2003 New Labour had not only waged an illegal war, it had pimped arms to dictators, bankrupts, thugs and frauds. Leaving a trail of mayhem, deceit, debt, death and handouts. They pumped money into BAE Systems, lobbied for BAE Systems and broke the rules for BAE Systems. New Labour nurtured this malignant cuckoo nesting at the heart of democracy and left room for change at the margins"

You know...reading that almost made me nostalgic for the days of the Conservative Party.

I Have A Dream Or State Sponsored Racism - You Decide

On the anniversary of Reverend Martin Luther King's seminal speech at the Linoln Memorial in Washington D.C. I thought it would be appropriate if I posted comment on a news story that caught my eye last week.

Rev King spoke of the need "to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice".

In perhaps the most famous line of the speech he stated that "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character".

Thanks to the formerly drunk President and his sidekick Blair's "War On Terror" it appears that 43 years on racism is still at large in western society. And in the case of the UK it has now become State Sponsored.

Two young asians were forcibly removed from an aeroplane bound for Manchester from Malaga after complaints from fellow passengers. It appears that these young men were guilty of nothing more than speaking arabic. Remember that they had passed through all of the same secuirty checks at the airport that their fellow passengers endured. In addition when the concerns of fellow passengers were raised the men agreed to undergo further security checks which were duly carried out.

Sadly this was still not sufficient for the little racist scumbags which they shared a cabin with and the gentlemen were eventually escorted from the plane by airport security.

What a tremendous triumph for right wing arseholes everywhere. If the captain of the plane had had any balls at all he would have removed those complaining and left them on the tarmac instead.

I am pleased to say that I have never flown with Monarch Airlines and after this incident I will make certain that I never do.

So there you have it...it now appears that Flying Under The Influence Of Islam is a crime.

At least the Irish will be pleased, it will take the heat off of them.

Full story available here

http://www.metro.co.uk/home/article.html?in_article_id=18728&in_page_id=1&ct=5