Steal My Sunshine

Tales From Almost Employment.

Another true story. About a year ago I was walking home from the office when I was propositioned by a rather glamorous young lady. Oh aye! I thought…the old boy still has it.

They lady in question duly introduced herself and informed me that she was a casting director on the lookout for faces to appear in an upcoming TV commercial. A business card was proffered as proof/validation that her intentions were sadly honourable. She stated that she was intrigued by my visage and would I be interested in the “part”.

Inside I was screaming pick me! Pick me! But outwardly I elected to play it cool simply stating that I would be willing to assist as she had asked so nicely.

A few minutes later after exchanging details and posing for a couple of polaroids I was informed that she would be in touch.

Now I have always considered myself something of a level headed chap but by now my head was swimming with thoughts of fame, stardom, trips to Cannes etc. I was also imagining what the mystery product I would be advertising was.

In my mind it was obviously something uber-cool. A new bar, a masculine fragrance, maybe a hip band or cool gadget. So somewhat sheepishly I plucked up the courage to ask.

“Oh! Did I not say?” the young lady answered.

“It’s for Dobbies Garden Centre”

And right at that moment another one of my dreams were crushed. I had gone from chisel jawed hero to fucking gnome in about the time it takes to boil a decent egg.

What disappointed me most was that to this lady I looked like someone who gardens.

And she never did call.