Three Lions Talking Shite

I originally wrote & posted this piece last night but thanks to the ongoing technical problems which Blogger is experiencing it has been lost in space. So here we go again.

As I mentioned previously I will not be supporting our southern neighbours (England) in the World Cup. I refute wholeheartedly the suggestion that this makes me a racist. Let me explain why me and my kind cannot bring ourself to do this.

Scotland, England, Wales & Northern Ireland make up the United Kingdom. Historically & politically Scotland and England have been the senior partners in this marriage of convenience. As such the rivalry is often friendly but occassionally fierce.

Due to the unique way in which the UK is assembled a lot of the infrastructure is shared. This is particularly true of the media. As the majority of the UK media is London based it naturally favours England and can often be accused of pandering to the lowest common denominator.

Examples of this are abundent so I'll list a few choice ones for you.

In 1996 England hosted the second largest football tournament in the world, The European Championships. During Euro '96 the redtop press got itself into a frenzy and truly expected England to lift the prize. Throughout the festival of football backpage stories were routinely run which were at best xenophobic and at worst downright racist. One example sticks in my mind which was published on 22 June immediately prior to England playing Spain in the quarter finals. On this day Britains best selling daily newspaper bore the headline "It's War Senor" complete with some nice mock photographs of some English players displaying what I'll euphemistically term "the Churchill spirit". Distasteful in the extreme I'm sure you will agree.

Meanwhile on BBC TV (which is publicly funded and therefore has a responsibility to remain impartial) we are treated to the inarticulate ramblings of a number of former players. The worst offender has to be Ian Wright. Mr Wright often has difficulty stringing sentences together and continually uses the phrase "know watta meen". I would have no issue with the man if it weren't for the fact that he is collecting his wages for this from the public purse that I am expected to contribute to. Quite simply he does not provide "value for money" and in a modern business world should therefore be removed from his position immediately.

This leads me on the the England fans. It must be pointed out that the majority of England fans are fair minded decent people. There is however a section of their support which is odious in the extreme and seem to view every trip abroad as an opportunity to reenact historical battles. Sadly this is all to apparent whenever their team visit a major tournament. This for me is the main reason that most Scots wish to distance themself from our English neighbours.

Scotland had hooligan problems in the '70's & early '80's but since then significant strides have been made to eradicate this scum element from our support. This drive has been so successful that on the odd occassion that we actually qualify for a major tournament these days the Tartan Army routinely win friends and awards wherever they go. This is mainly down to the unique self-policing that they practice.

A couple of footnotes for this piece.

Prior to the World Cup commencing the BBC commissioned a poll which stated that in excess of 70% of Scots would be supporting England. Where the fuck did this poll take place? Edinburgh University? A home game at Ibrox? St. Andrews University? What I can say is that it wasn't taken anywhere I frequent. I have canvassed opinion from my social circle and the universal response is that Satan would have to be going to work on ice-skates before this would happen.

England defender Sol Campbell also claimed that he knew the Scots would support England. Given the troubles Sol has endured this season this should cause concern to the Arsenal medical staff as Sol is obviously still not right mentally.

So what have we learned here today? Not much other than that I think Ian Wright is a twat. So here comes the educational bit for you.

As the World Cup is taking place in Germany I suppose it is approprioate that the best way to describe my feelings towards England are encapsulated by a German word.

Schadenfreund - a schadenfreund is a loser of a friend you keep hanging around because his/her life is so miserable it makes you feel good about your own.