Why Do We Do It?

As Edwin Starr probably never sung "Blogs huh! What are they good for?".

As you will know I'm new to this blogging lark and still a little unsure of the direction to steer it in. For this reason I have spent the last few days clicking the "next blog" button in the top right of the screen to try and establish the motivation people have for taking on this task.

In my thoroughly un-scientific study I have come to the following conclusions. Blogs like people can be split into groups. Some will interest you, some will enlighten you, some will entertain, some will amuse but a large number will either bore you to tears or piss you off with their sanctimonious shite.

I have come across some absolutely stunning Blogs in my quest. Some are dedicated to the beauty of mother earth whilst others explore themes as diverse as art, unrequited love and the written word. I have also waded through a large pile of dogshit.

*Disclaimer - If you are a blogger and you are precious about your Blog you may wish to stop reading now. If you welcome comments on your output carry on. Please remember your thoughts are just that, yours. These are mine, this does not neccesarily make them correct but it does make them valid. *

The Worst Kind Of Blogs

1. Anything Religious and I do mean anything. My understanding of religion has always been that it is an individual and personal preference. The clue here is the word personal. Please keep it that way. No I don't believe that god/buddha/allah/ganesha or any of the other deities are my saviour and IF I did I'm sure that I could find my own way to worship without the intervention of some sadsack from Wagon Broke, Wyoming telling me about DA MAN. While we are discussing religion, can someone please explain why as most religions preach tolerance every religious zealot I've ever met has been unable to offer forgiveness or understanding to anyone who leads a lifestyle that differs from their own ideal?
2. Baby Blogs - quick tip for parents. No-one outside your immediate family gives a fuck about your progeny so don't bother wasting your time. After all babies take looking after so perhaps making sure that your young one has everything they require is a little more important than boasting to the world that you had sex once. As a parent of two small children (hey I've had sex twice!) I'll give you another tip for free - use the time you would spend on the blog sleeping. When you have small children you can never have too much sleep. The two worst examples of Baby Blogs that I have stumbled onto were written in the style of the child, yeah obviously an 18 month old drool monster can operate a PC. Parent you are not fooling anyone with that scam. If your child is that fucking smart I hope you've signed them up for Oxford, Cambridge or Harvard. In saying all of this If you are detatched from your immediate family by distance (and I'm talking 100's if not 1000's of miles here) then obviously dropping Jr off at granny's for a spot of babysitting is not an option. In this instance I will accept that your blog serves a purpose.
3. Bitter Divorcee - these are amusing for around thirty seconds. In that time you revel in the insanity and madness of the mind that created this beast before abject pity kicks in. Hey we've all been at the party where there is a fat girl in the kitchen all night crying, well guess what? She's responsible for this type of blog. One read and it will be patently obvious why her other half upped and left.
4. Poetry - If you spend your life commiting the contents of your feeble mind to writing 4th form poetry and cannot get it published in a proper periodical then it is probably not very good. Why bother? Life is too short, get out there socialise, feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair. Try to find that someone special don't waste your time festering in your bedroom.
5. MLM - that's Multi Level Marketing to those that do not know, a pyramid scheme to those that do. Davenelli's tip on this one - pass on by. Do not, I repeat do not get seduced by the promise of untold wealth. It doesn't, sorry, It can't happen. If you are tempted ask yourself one question. Would I like to live in Albania? If your answer is no then it's not for you. MLM destroyed the Albanian economy a decade or so ago. A mess that the countrys rulers are still trying to straighten out.
6. Backpackers - As we all now there are two kinds of Backpackers, those who take a year out to travel & broaden their mind before returning home to attend college, take that job in the bank/uncle Franks building business etc. And then there are those who do it so that they can bore everyone back home with wild (and almost certainly fabricated)tales of reckless nights in exotic places. Sadly with the advent of blogging you no longer have a year to arrange a house move before this fucker returns. Now they are directly into your home each day with "interesting tales" of how shit their pizza was in Pisa, how they waltzed in Vienna, how the Eiffel Tower is kinda neat etc. This type of backpacker knows nothing about self improvement they simply want to prove that their dick is bigger than yours.
7. Porn - Not required. The internet is awash with porn, a simple search will provide images to cater for every possible fantasy/taste. Find something to write about instead of posting images of the fat crying girl from the party mentioned earlier.
8. This one - probably.

Once again I have managed to provide a negative post so in the interest of fairness I'll list some examples of Blogs I've found that serve a purpose.

http://sarameliinparis.blogspot.com/ - Sara is travelling and therefore away from her family & friends. This blog allows those she loves to keep upto date with her progress.

http://www.caledoniacalling.com/ - Entertaining ramblings and observations on life in the centre of the universe (Scotland). As a nation I understand that Scotland is second only to Ireland in terms of the number of ex-pats spread throughout the world. This site allows them to keep in touch with the motherland.

http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/ - American current affairs/concerns laid out in a thought provoking fashion. A little flabby around the middle but a decent effort none the less.

http://shandieesthoughts.blogspot.com/ - Without doubt the best blog that I have stumbled on. Worth a look for her photographs alone. The writing style is sometimes frothy but covers myriad topics. Some posts are sad, many funny, a few bizarre and one or two which are poignant to say the least. Even if you don't fancy reading the content check out the lady's photographs.

I know I have been promising you some more about the nanny state. Trust me it is coming but everytime I sit down to complete the piece I can feel my bloodpressure rise.

If my ramblings have offended any blogger please don't leave comments I really don't care. Here's why...you can post your stuff, if I don't like it I will simply choose not to read it. You can utilise the same option here.

Nighty night.